I'm Not Comfortable Sharing This / by Ben Weston

I’m going to try something new here. Something that I kinda, definitely am uncomfortable with publishing. Instead of a celebration, I have a confession.

I fell off the band wagon. Big time.

For the past year, I’ve had the privilege to help men feel powerful and confident in their bodies through dance. And, I’ve been quite good at it.

Yet somehow, along the way, I stopped feeling it myself. I’d slowly gone from moving through every day with hours of playful dance, tumbling, and all manner of good circus fun to spending the majority of my waking hours in front of a computer screen, sitting.

It didn’t hit me until my recent trip to Thailand when I was told that I had lost my energy, my vibrancy. I have been almost chronically sick, or at least on the edge of sickness for most of the year. And, as of a month ago, was down to my high school weight of 155lbs. That’s close to 30lbs less than my healthy standard weight. (See photos for comparison)

My mother even commented recently that I have a flat butt now. And my half-Asian bubble butt was once a thing of pride for me!

So instead of the usual celebrations and highlight reel, I want to give a genuine look into where I am now. I’m literally giving the “Before” photo before the “After” photo shows up.

I feel like I’ve been hiding this process and I’d rather share throughout my journey, instead of only when really good shit happens.

P.S. If anyone wants to join me in the process, just know that I tend to put down large chunks of money for personal growth challenges. That or Slap Bets.

P.P.S. I won’t lie. I’m already really excited for when I get to take my “After” photo and share it.