We Won't - Jaymes Young & Phoebe Ryan - Improvised Dance / by Ben Weston

Three months ago, sometime during the blur of post breakup rom-com binge watching (hello 500 Days of Summer) and amidst the sea of empty Ben & Jerry Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough pints, I was writing about what I wish I had.

You know, trying to do the whole Law of Attraction biznazz and get this heartbreak thing over with ASAP.

(I was one self-help book away from putting a reminder in my Google Calendar to be healed in two weeks)

The one thing that I kept writing on was wanting connection.

I didn’t want romance.

I didn’t want to date.

I sure as hell didn’t want a girlfriend.

I wanted closeness.

To touch.

To laugh with.

To be seen by.

And in a city with a seemingly bajillion people, it feels like a giant cosmic joke to feel so lonely when you’re pressed up against others all day.

I’ll readily admit that I’ve often come to rely on romantic partnerships as my sole source of closeness and connection to others. And nothing makes that more abundantly clear than a break-up.

In making this video, I realized how grateful I am for the connections that have emerged and re-emerged in my life during these months: the romantic, bro-mantic (god I love me some good bro-mance), playful, dance-filled, and everything in between.

Rachael, thank you for sharing this dance with me.